Humor: Tom Hanks "Not Academy Alum"
Updated: Nov 12, 2020
The American Academy of Dramatic Arts, prized for its extensive alumni list, is not the alma mater of Tom Hanks ("Cast Away", "Captain Phillips"). "It's true... we can't claim this one", said Stephen Herring, Director of Alumni Relations for the LA campus, "Even Tom Hanks eluded our charms", he continued.
The news, which came as a shock, has left The Academy community devastated. "I find it appalling... like, why am I here?" said one student, "I feel like my life is a lie", said another. Echoes of "We Want Tom!" can be heard on the streets of New York City, leaving staff members fearing for their lives.
As the situation gets dire, some wonder what to do next. A source, who requested to remain anonymous, is quoted saying "I mean, we could just pretend he is." The idea, though unethical, was met with mild excitement.